The shift started like any other. I showed up to work a bit earlier then most and went about preparing the ambulance. At this time I was working 12hr shifts and the ambulances that were assigned to the 12hr crews wore 99% of the time understocked, out of oxygen and usually needed a wash. Also being on a “day car” as they wore called, you wore rarely in the same ambulance twice. So, you could spend three hours pimping out your rig for the day and then next shift be back where you started with a understocked, unwashed, mysterious flashing light on the dashboard beauty. After I got the ambulance back up to just above acceptable standards I went inside the station to wait for my partner to show up.
A few minutes later she walked through the door, powder pink jansport backpack in one hand, cell phone in the other. “You working 1116?” she asked, “Yeah” I replied. “Cool! I’m driving” she said. “Handle it” I told her, “it’s all you”.
This was Megan, she was not my regular partner which didn’t really mater because I hadn’t had a regular partner for the last month. The last several shifts had been a slew of blind dates consisting of over timers, new people and one time nobody.
Megan and I had never worked together or even really formally met, but I knew who she was. She normally worked out of station 17, about 12 miles south east of where we wore today on the industrial side of town. She also had the reputation of being one of “the hot girls” at the company. I wouldn’t have gone so far as to say hot, she presented herself more feminine then some of the other female employees but I guess that’s all it takes. We were quickly acquainted and off on the road.
* * *
The day was going pretty smoothly. our conversation was lite but pleasant, no real critical calls had come our way and now it was lunch time. Once Megan found out I was Vegetarian I went into my scripted and very well rehearsed set of answers and explanations. “No it’s not religious”, “yes I’m green conscious”, “no I’m not a hippie”, “yes its ok if you eat meat”. I have been a Vegetarian my entire life so I have gotten pretty good at answering most questions on the subject. I’m also “a foodie” so I appreciate good meat even if I don’t want to eat it. She told me a story of how one of her friends tried going veg so she could lose weight. I appreciated her effort in the conversation and that was that.
After lunch we got dispatched to the local hospital for a transfer going from the ER to a private residence. The additional info read “male, 58y/0, history of cancer, room#3″. We parked in the ambulance bay next to another crew who was bringing in a woman with shortness of breath.
We followed them into the ER as I double check the room number on My pager. Normally I like to get a report from the nurse and have all the paperwork straightened out before seeing the patient. But like most days the ER was packed, and the only nurse I could see was with the other crew trying to figure out where to put their patient. Just then a third crew came in, and so today I ended up in the patients room first. Mainly to just get out of the way.
Megan and I walked in, “hello, ambulance” I called as I knocked on a tray table next to the closed curtain. “Come in” a woman’s voice answered. I drew back the curtain and found the woman sitting in a chair with her purse in her lap and a uncomfortable smile on her face. Next to her in the bed was our patient. He looked awful. It was plainly obvious that he was trying very hard to die, and from the looks of things was getting pretty close. His skin was ashen and grey, cold sagging and dry. His breathing was labored and he was very lethargic.
On the bed was a basin half full of dark coffee grounds vomit which is a sign of gastrointestinal bleeding. The latest blood pressure on the monitor read 80/52. “I’m sorry for the mess” the woman said. “My husband was sick earlier”. I excused myself and left Megan with the couple. I left to go find the nurse or somebody and before I could get into the hallway I was handed a thick envelope.
” Here you go” a nurse said. “Room 3 right?”, “uh yes” I said, “wait This man is in no shape to be leaving the hosp” I was interrupted. “He is leaving AMA” ( against medical advice) “his wife has all his things”. “Oh”, “whats wrong with him?” I asked. “stomach cancer, it’s metastasized to everything…oh and he’s a full code”. The nurse turned and was gone as quickly as she appeared.
I briefed Megan about the situation and we moved the patient over from the hospital bed onto our gurney. He groaned as we pulled him across on the sheet. We made him as comfortable as we could, buckled down the belts and headed out. With his wife following close behind I looked back and said “you’ll be riding up front with Megan if that’s alright?”. “Oh that’s just fine, do you need directions to our house?” she asked. ”We have you address” Megan said, “but directions would be great”.
* * *
On the way to their house I could overhear the woman telling Megan about all of the things she has planned for her and her husband “once he recovers”. Between directions there was a new story. “-and this year we are going to Ohio to spend Christmas with my sister”. “-make a left at the next light”. “-and he will be retiring in a few years and you know that might the time we finally make it to the Caribbeans”. I looked over at this sick dieing man and wondered if he would even make it home, never mind Jamaica.
We arrived at their house, there were still four of us. We parked on the street at the bottom of a long driveway. We unloaded the man, and once at the top of the driveway realised that the stairs to his front door wore too narrow for the gurney to be brought up safely. “We’ll have to carry him in” I said. The wife went in front and unlocked the door. We picked the man up off the gurney, Me holding his legs and Megan at his back and under his arms. We followed the woman, and the usually easy task of carrying a man up three stairs proved to be much more difficult then it should have.
Once inside she lead us to a bedroom, we set him down on the bed and drew back the covers. He rolled over and groaned, I suppose that meant he was comfortable. Megan walked out of the room “I’m going to clean up the gurney, see ya outside”, “ok” I said. I walked back through the house and found the mans wife in the kitchen. She was cooking up a storm and had three pots on the stove.
“Ok ma’am, he’s resting in bed, Is there anything I can do for you before I leave?”. She turned away from the stove and with that same uncomfortable smile said “Oh no, I’ll be fine” ”And thank you both very much, You know this is my mothers recipe and he’ll be glad to have it because he just” She stopped herself. There was a pause. “He’ll be alright…wont he?” There was another short pause.
“I can see that you love your husband very much, and I’m sure he knows that”, “You should be proud of the life the two of you have had together”, “maybe turn the stove down and go spend some time with him”. “Thank you” she said. She signed my paperwork, we said good bye and I left.
On My walk back down the long driveway I wondered if in 20 minutes I’d back in their bedroom doing CPR. I got back to the ambulance, opened the passenger side door and tossed my clipboard up on the dash. Megan was fixing her hair in the rear view mirror and barely noticed me. I climbed in side, “so what do you think of all that?” I said. With out looking away from the mirror Megan replied “he was kinda heaving wasn’t he?” ”yeah” I said, “he was kinda heavy”.
