Today I was out and about town. This morning I took my car to the mechanic for some passed due maintenance (Thanks Chronicles of EMS) Then this afternoon was I off to the good doctor (and family friend) for some passed due personal maintenance. Then off to the office supply store, and a quick phone call to headquarters to enquirer about some new uniforms. All and all, I’d say it was a productive day. Yup… the well oiled machine of society was running smoothly… or was it?
On my home, I needed a phone number that had been emailed to me. I turned into the parking lot of a shopping mall to (safely) access the internet on my cell phone. On my way out of the parking lot, I noticed a homeless woman sitting on a wall near the exit. And there it was, the familiar feeling we all get. That uniquely human sensation brought on by a cocktail of guilt, remorse, empathy, sympathy, compassion, frustration, anger, helplessness, and denial. I don’t know what to call it, but it’s “that” feeling. Perhaps us EMS folks feel it a bit stronger then others do. The sight or thought of someone in need can at times wreak havoc on our caring nature. It urges you to do something while stabbing you in the back with the knowledge that it’s never enough.
As I got closer I could see she was in her late 30′s. she looked healthy enough, and had some luggage with her (Clean, new luggage.) She also had a large, detailed cardboard sign, “Homeless with two daughters”- I couldn’t read on… There was traffic behind me, so I had to pull out on to the street. I circled the block and went back.
It’s wrong. The well oiled machine of society was broken… It broke a long time ago, and no one seemed to care. “as long as my Iphone doesn’t get scratched, and Starbucks doesn’t run out my triple shot ignorance late’ then all is good…” No, I’m sorry. It’s broken. “But that’s like why I go to Starbucks, because I care… Cuz like, their coffee is all free trade and stuff… I think… right?… what does free trade mean again?” *head desk*
In a parking lot full of luxury cars, in a world enamored with money, and this woman had nothing. After working in any branch of emergency services, you become intimately aware of society’s dirty truths that it wishes you didn’t see. The drugs, the violence, the corruption, and the injustice. Because of that, you become quickly skilled in reading people. She was not a drug addict, or a prostitute, or mentally ill (not that any of that should matter) she was a person. I’ve had coworkers argue that, “I bust my but all day picking up bums. They are not getting my money or time when these boots come off.” Yes, on duty you have a legal responsibility to these people. But what about your human responsibility? The human responsibility that lead you to this job in the first place…
In my wallet I had seven dollars cash. Seven dollars that was left over from money I had borrowed. It was her’s… I drove back to her corner of the lot and parked next to the Mercedes Benz she was near. “I want you to have this” I told her. She thanked me, and the society machine got a much needed drop of oil. One thing I learned from my father was to give. He is a very generous man, even when he has little him self. He never told me I had to be this way. He never explained its importance. As a child I would just watch him do it with grace and humility.
Seven dollars would not fix this woman’s problems, or fix society. But it made a dent. It showed this woman that someone cared. It set an example to everyone who watched and did not act. It made a dent… This is what we do, try and try, one little dent at a time. The sad truth is that after that, I saw at least a dozen more people who needed a dent.
I know the readers of this are compassionate people. We may have never met, but I know you. I encourage every one of you to go make dents, in what ever way you can. What am I saying… I know you make dents. I guess I’m saying don’t stop making dents, or even better make more.
This is what we do, try and try, one little dent at a time.




